"In Science Robotics, researchers from MIT Media Lab and collaborators from Politecnico di Bari present Electrofluidic Fiber Muscles, a new class of artificial muscle fibers for robots and wearables."
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Thursday, 16 April 2026
Monday, 13 April 2026
Wednesday, 1 April 2026
THE DEPARTMENT OF NOT OUR PROBLEM All the news that isn't anyone's responsibility
THE DEPARTMENT OF NOT OUR PROBLEM All the news that isn't anyone's responsibility
AREA POTHOLE ENTERS THIRD YEAR
OF DISTINGUISHED PUBLIC SERVICE, RECEIVES NO FORMAL RECOGNITION
Local infrastructure feature
described as "basically part of the community now" as responsible
parties confirm matter is under review, being monitored, and absolutely not
their fault
BELFAST, 1 April 2026 — A
pothole, understood to have first opened in late 2022 following what
meteorological records confirm was rain — a rare and unforeseeable event in
North Ireland — has this week marked another quiet milestone, continuing to
exist despite the combined awareness of local councillors, two separate roads
departments, and a residents' group whose emails have been described by
insiders as "received."
The pothole, which began life as a
modest surface irregularity and has since developed into what one local
described as "its own postcode," sits at a location that multiple
authorities have confirmed is either the responsibility of the council, the
roads service, a legacy body from a previous administrative reorganisation, or
possibly the EU (remember them), depending on who you ask and whether they have had their
lunch.
"We are aware of the
issue," said a spokesperson for an organisation that has been aware of the
issue for considerably longer than the issue has been comfortable with.
A BRIEF HISTORY
Late 2022: Pothole forms. A
passing motorist reports it via the official online portal, receiving an
automated acknowledgement and a reference number that will never be mentioned
again.
Early 2023: A second
motorist reports the pothole, unaware that it has already been reported. It now
has two reference numbers, which is two more than it has had repairs.
Spring 2023: A local councillor is photographed standing next to the pothole. The photograph appears in a local newspaper under the headline "Something Must Be Done." Nothing is done.
Summer 2023: Another local councillor is photographed standing next to the pothole. The photograph appears in a local newspaper under the headline "Maybe Something Must Be Done." Nothing is done.
Summer 2023: The pothole is
filled, partially, with a substance that lasts eleven days before the next
rainfall, which occurs the following morning, because this is the reality of weather.
Autumn 2023: The pothole
returns, larger, and some observers feel, angrier.
Autumn 2023: Another local councillor is photographed standing well back from the pothole. The photograph appears in a local newspaper under the headline "Danger We Must Do Something." Nothing is done.
2024: A resident submits a
Freedom of Information request to establish who is responsible for the pothole.
The response arrives four months later, identifies three possible responsible
bodies, and suggests the resident contact each of them directly.
Early 2025: The resident
contacts each of them directly. Two do not respond. One sends a generic
acknowledgement suggesting the
Late 2025: The pothole is
now being used as a landmark. "Turn left at the crater, you can't miss
it."
March 2026: This article is
published. The pothole is unavailable for comment but is understood to have no
plans to leave.
THE INFRASTRUCTURE IN NUMBERS
- 1 pothole, originally
- 3 departments with plausible responsibility
- too many Councillors photographs with zero responsibility
- 0 departments with confirmed responsibility
- 4 reports submitted via official channels
- 4 automated acknowledgements received
- 1 partial repair, lasting 11 days
- 2 more unknown councillors photographed in the vicinity
- 0 councillors photographed repairing it
- ∞ days it has been "under review"
EXPERT ANALYSIS
Road surface engineers consulted
by the Department confirmed that potholes of this nature are typically caused
by water ingress, freeze-thaw cycles, and heavy traffic — all three of which
are well-documented features of the North Irish climate and road network,
and therefore could not reasonably have been anticipated by anyone. Except this road only ever sees an odd tractor or pheasant.
"The road was not designed to
experience weather," one source did not say, but might as well have.
THE BROADER PICTURE
The Department wishes to note that
the pothole in question is not alone. It is part of a rich and diverse
ecosystem of unaddressed road surface events spread across the country, each
with its own reference number, its own ignored report, and its own small but
dedicated community of people who have stopped expecting anything to happen and
have simply begun driving around them with the quiet resignation of a people
who have learned not to want too much from their roads.
In this sense, the pothole is not
merely a hole in a road.
It is a philosophy.
MODERN TECHNOLOGY
A journalist / hack asked about rumours around a pothole fixing machine and was swiftly removed by security amidst cries of fake news fake news.
RIGHT OF REPLY
The Department extended an
invitation to comment to the relevant roads authority, the local council, the
Department for Infrastructure, and the office of the relevant elected
representative.
At time of publication, we had
received one out of office reply, one automated acknowledgement, and a profound
silence that spoke, frankly, for itself.
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT
Nothing, in all likelihood. Though
we will report on it when it doesn't.
— Ends —
The Department of Not Our
Problem covers all matters that fall between the cracks — much like rainwater
into an unrepaired road surface, accelerating the very damage that no one is
responsible for.
Last edition: Utility companies
and the bold new frontier of them not knowing whether you've paid your bill.
I'm particularly fond of "The
pothole is not merely a hole in a road. It is a philosophy." and the
infrastructure numbers table - feck sake, maybe down the road - if we don't hit a pothole ;-)
Case#0001 - Power NI - Tighten The Fuck Up
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Donnelly's Communications Division
Local 6 Counties Utility Provider Pioneers Bold New Strategy Of Telling Paid-Up Customer Their Bill Is Unpaid
Industry observers divided on whether this represents
"innovation" or "a basic systems failure"
BELFAST, 1 April 2026 — In what internal
sources are describing as "a landmark moment in post-payment customer
engagement," a leading electric utility provider this week successfully
dispatched not one but two SMS notifications to a customer who
had already paid their bill in full, industry sources have confirmed.
The customer, who had committed the apparent oversight of
settling their account in a timely and correct manner, was subsequently
informed by automated message that action may be required — despite no action
being required.
"We are very excited about where this technology is
taking us," a spokesperson did not say.
THE RESPONSE PHASE
Following the customer's complaint, the utility activated
what analysts are calling its Tier One Acknowledgement Protocol (aka fuck off) —
a proprietary system capable of generating replies that successfully contain
words, arranged in sentence-like formations, while conveying no actionable / useful information whatsoever.
The message, described by sources close to the situation as
"technically a response," reportedly directed the customer toward
further resources without specifying what those resources were, why they were
relevant, or whether any human being had been involved in its composition.
"It's a masterclass in saying nothing at scale,"
noted one communications consultant, who asked not to be named because they
found the whole thing hilarious.
THE FEEDBACK GAMBIT
Undeterred, and perhaps emboldened by the success of Phase
One, the utility's customer experience division this week unveiled its most
ambitious initiative yet: asking the customer why they were upset.
The move, characterised by some as "audacious" and
others as "the customer service equivalent of poking a bear with a
stick," - invited the aggrieved party (customer) to explain, in their own words, what
had gone wrong - a process the customer had, in fact, already attempted on two
prior occasions.
"We value every customer's feedback," said a press
release that almost certainly / or maybe exists somewhere.
ANALYST COMMENT
Markets remained largely unmoved. The customer, however, was
not impressed.
— Ends —
For further information, please contact Donnelly’s press
office, who will send you a generic reply sometime later this year or maybe within
3-5 working days depending on who you are and where you are from.
On a wider front please tell
Govt = Unwilling, Unable, Unnecessary
Who said the Government is:
the Unwilling appointed by
the Unable to do
the Unnecessary
- one of the primary beauties of the Internet is that accountability has become accountable... (if only people could count or in some cases even took the time to read.
All Govt is pointless IMHO – wasted taxes / wasted rates / wasted time / wasted energy - all the counties working hard to pay Council people and keep them in handy jobs and them not even able to do the little small tiny thing they are paid for or said they would do.
In this vein my own personal experience has now morphed into a little pseudo fledgling Dept just for the 6 Counties. Be advised: at the end of the year I hope to organise a vote for the Dept of the Year.
________________________________________
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE - A faceless Robot acting as Minister of the Public Facing Office of the semi-Permanent Under-Secretary for Communications and Announcements
________________________________________
THE DEPARTMENT OF NOT OUR PROBLEM OFFICIALLY LAUNCHES, CONFIRMING WHAT MANY HAVE LONG SUSPECTED
New body pledges to document, in exhaustive detail, all matters that relevant authorities have determined are somebody else's responsibility
BELFAST, 1 April 2026 — The Department of Not Our Problem today announced its formal establishment, filling a critical gap in the public information landscape that officials across multiple tiers of government have repeatedly confirmed is not their gap to fill.
The Department, which has been described by its initiators as "entirely unnecessary" and having no elected representative (baggage / dumb mf) whatsoever, will serve as the official record of ongoing issues, chronic failures, and preventable problems that have been collectively determined — by those with the power and budget to address them — to fall outside their current remit, strategic priorities, or frankly their interest or ability, maybe even their - anterograde amnesia - the inability to create new memories after an event that caused amnesia - aka a handful of cash..all right Sammy...
"We exist," said a spokesperson, "because one has to, or not, it is Zen."
________________________________________
MISSION STATEMENT
The Department of Not Our Problem is committed to the rigorous, impartial, and mildly furious documentation of:
• Infrastructure that was supposed to be fixed
• Systems that were supposed to work
• Communications that were supposed to contain information
• Departments that were supposed to care
Our editorial position is one of weary neutrality. We do not take sides. We simply note, with a raised eyebrow and a heavy sigh, what is happening, and then contrast it with what was supposed to be happening. In the current climate there is no political anything, it is a void.
________________________________________
WHY NOW
When asked why the Department was launching at this particular moment, a founding editor paused, gestured broadly at everything, and said: "Have you been outside driving about recently or trying to park?" is it not pre April's Fool s Day - is that not the day the veil between assholes and reality is the thinest.. ah feck that is Halloween... let's go on anyway...
Analysts confirmed this was sufficient justification.
________________________________________
COVERAGE AREAS
The Department will initially focus on a few hip flagship beats:
🔌 Utilities & Billing — covering the innovative frontier of companies who cannot determine whether a bill has been paid, and the customer service infrastructure built to not address your concerns about this.
🕳️ Roads & Infrastructure — with particular attention to the pothole as a civic institution; its origins, its growth, its community impact, and the rich tradition of doing absolutely nothing about it.
🕳️ Parking- Councils paying assholes or vice versa
Further trajectories are expected to emerge organically, as they always do, because there is no shortage of material. We'd be glad to hear from you if it is sort of half sensible.
________________________________________
A NOTE ON ACCOUNTABILITY
The Department wishes to make clear that it holds no regulatory power, no enforcement capability, and no official standing of any kind.
In this respect, it is not entirely unlike several bodies that do not state that cleanly upfront but just pretend.
________________________________________
ABOUT THE DEPARTMENT
The Department of Not Our Problem is an independent entity dedicated to covering the vast administrative space between "someone should do something about this" and "someone doing something about this." and "someone doing fuck all /nothing about this."
We are not affiliated with any Government Department, utility provider, local council, or other body — largely because none of them have responded to our requests for comment (or sponsorshop)
They are all in Portrush or Bundoran ;-) - whatever..
All the news that isn't anyone's responsibility.
________________________________________
— Ends —
Press / any enquiries: please submit your question via the online form, allow 5-7 working days for a generic acknowledgement, and a further 28 days for a response that does not address your question.
Although - https://www.dd.ie/p/contact.html
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